Heeeeey, long time no see!

Let's be honest: It's been a while. This blog is kinda dead. It happens.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

On the bright side, I have a brand new site to check out! Never fear, I'll be keeping this blog up for archival purposes (just in case you want to relive that time I saw a real life UFO or when I subjected you to weird tree pictures), but if you want to follow some more recent exploits, come visit me at my new home!

squidinksarah.wordpress.com

11 questions campaign game!

ETA (03/09/2012): Yeah, I got tagged again (by Brenna at Blissfully Brenna), but didn't realize it until now. Oops. If you're interested, the new questions and answers are near the end of the post.

ETA (02/17/2012): Okay, so I've been tagged by two more people (Jenna at Finding the Write Way and W. Chaser). This has officially become the 11 Questions Master Post of Doom. That is all.

So, there's been this 11 questions campaign game floating around, and I was tagged by the lovely Patricia Marques over at Swimming in Words. It's a pretty cool meme, especially considering that the questions change each time you get tagged by a different person, so it's not the same thing over and over.

So here are my 11 answers to Patricia's 11 questions:

1. What was your first ever story about?
   It was a picture book entitled The Adventures of Nikki and Noel and was about a cat and a dog who, err, went on adventures? It was basically Milo and Otis in book form. :)
2. What's your favorite writing place?
   My bed. Or the couch. I prefer comfy places where I can chill in my pajama pants and huddle beneath a layer of blankets
3. What's your favorite character archetype?
   I usually like the smart, funny one. Or the tragic, anti-hero one. It's even better when you can combine the two?
4. Cats or dogs?
   Cats. Cats by faaaaaar.
5. If you could time travel, what year would you travel to?
   Ugh, I seriously have no idea. 
6. What type of scenes do you find hardest to write?
   Those little montage scenes where someone walked for a couple hours etc. It's only a paragraph to a page's worth of writing . . . but I hate it!
7. What's your favorite children's movie?
   The Lion King. I own the blu-ray, I know the names of all of then charatcers (hello, Sarabi) I can sing to all of the songs and quote half of the movie, and I pray for the opportunity to see the musical.
8. Name a book that made you cry (or came close to getting you there).
   Honestly, there isn't much that can start me crying, but Markus Zusak's The Book Thief had me bawling. BAWLING.
9. What's your favorite fictional hero?
   Ahhh . . . these are hard! I don't think I have an absolute favorite. :(
10. If you could get some advice from any writer, past or present, who would it be?
    Uhh, good question. There are so many writers posting their advice online now . . . so I guess I'd rather talk to someone from the past. I guess Jane Austen would be interesting to talk to. *shrug*
11. What's your Chinese Zodiac?
    I'm a dragon! Raar!

And now 11 more answers to the lovely Jenna's 11 questions:

1. Redvines or Twizzlers?
   Redvines!
2. With your iPod/MP3 on shuffle, what's the first song that comes up?
   "A Man's Gotta Do" from Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog. :D
3. What's your least favorite book you ever had to read for school?
   Ugh, The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne. I can't really remember what was so terrible about it . . . but it was terrible.
4. You're the producer for turning any one book into a movie, which do you choose to do?Ooo, this is a tough one. Laini Taylor's Daughter of Smoke & Bone would be fun.
5. What's your favorite YouTube video?
   Uhh, my favorite? Jeeze. Umm. I don't really have a favorite, but let's go with the mewling baby cheetah. Because, uhh, cats own the internet and cheetahs CHIRP.
6. Who did you look up to when you were thirteen years old?
   I was kind of a strange child . . . I didn't have any role models. Seriously.
7. Which food do you wish you could rid the planet of?
   IKURA. Ikura is salmon roe sushi. Just envision a cup of seaweed full of rice and jiggly, orange eggs the size of kitten eyeballs. *twitch*
8. Why did you decide to start blogging?
   A couple reasons: 1) I figured it was time to start building up a writing platform, 2) it provided me a soapbox to ran on, and 3) I wanted to meet new people and such.
9. Do you cry over books/movies/TV shows?
   Not often, but there are exceptions to this rule. *cough*The Book Thief*cough*
10. What's one thing you believe in with all your heart?
    People should stop focusing on the negative. Seriously. We'd all be a lot happier if we stopped focusing on things we hate.
11. Flowers or chocolate?
    Flowers as long as they're interesting flowers instead of, you know, just roses. Variety is key! Of course, Boyfriend got me chocolates for Valentine's Day, so maybe I should go with that.

And last, but definitely not least, 11 more answers to W. Chaser's 11 fabulous questions:

1. If you could be any fictional baddie who would you be and why?
   Magento. Sure, his childhood sucked, but he's a badass. His magnetic powers pretty much allow him to do anything and his set pieces always pwn everyone else's. I mean, if I'm going to be evil, I might as well be awesome.
2. If you could go back in time and stop someone being born who would it be?
   Well, the easiest response would be Hitler, but I'll go with Joseph Mengele. Not only did he support Hitler's ideals, but he liked torturing and experimenting on people. Which is just horrific.
3. When do you get your most inspirational ideas?
   In the shower . . . or right before I'm about to fall asleep . . . or while driving. Basically anytime that I can't write it down.
4. If you had to live without either books or music, which would it be?
   Books. Don't get me wrong, I love books . . . but they're just stories. And stories can exist without books. Music, on the other hand, can't really exists without itself.
5. Who provides the most encouragement for your writing?
   Brenna. Mah boyfriend. Kirstin. Pretty much my entire NaNoWriMo writing group.
6. If you could have one wish, what would it be?
   Uhh. Maybe to be a little more lucky. That'd be nice. I'd like to be lucky.
7. Do you remember your dreams and do they influence your writing?
   I do remember my dreams . . . they often involve tornados. *nods* My current WIP is actually based off a dream I had . . . though none of those original ideas really exist anymore.
8. What word do you frequently misspell?
   Worshipers. In my current WIP gave it double p's EVERY SINGLE TIME. Also, I tend to interchange lose and loose.
9. How much influence in your writing do you take from other people’s opinions?
   It really depends on how valid I think that opinion is. I think some of the best critique partners point out things that you already know are wrong with your story, so I definitely let those opinons influence me. On the other hand, I tend to ignore people when they tell me that my story shouldn't have something in it because it's stupid or inappropriate.
10. If there is one book you wish you’d written, what is it?
    Ahhhhh, just one?! Liar by Justine Larbalestier.
11. Starter or desert?
    Creme brûlée.

Okay, and now the REAL final set of 11 questions and answers for Brenna:

1. Coffee or tea?
   Tea. I'm a big fan of black teas and chai.
2. What was the first story you can remember writing?
   Uhh, I remember illustrating The Adventures of Nikki and Noel, but the first story I actually remember writing? I wrote this fabulous story about kids in the army (it was a horrific mashup of pretty much every tv show I liked at the time) when I was 12.
3. What TV show, video game, movie would you recommend to other writers?
   1) Avatar: The Last Airbender because the world building is to die for and the story isn't too shabby on top of that.
   2) The World Ends With You because it throws so many awesome ideas together and makes it work.
   3) Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog because I can't watch it without feeling inspired by the end.
4. What time of day are you most productive?
   Ehh, after dinner to somewhere around one in the morning. What can I say? I'm a night owl.
5. Green or black olives?
   Green, green, a thousand times green.
6. What was your first car?
   A dark red GMC Sierra. Wish I could tell you the year, but I don't actually know . . . probably 90's something?
7. What is your guilty pleasure?
   Right now? My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes, and Young Justice. So, uhh, I guess American children's animated television?
8. Are you a fan of footie pajamas?
   I've never worn footie pajamas . . . but that seems like way too much fabric to be sleeping in.
9. What's something you didn't think you'd like that you did/do?
   Crochet. My mother is big on the whole spinning/weaving/fiberarts circuit, so I've been subjected to sheep and fiber fairs my whole life. Never really expected to find any of that stuff interesting . . . but she doesn't crochet, so maybe I've found a loophole?
10. Favorite salad dressing?
    Blue cheese. *nomnomnom*
11. What is your most embarrassing nickname? (Or, just any nickname. You don't have to give an embarrassing one.)
    Uhh . . . Sarah-bear-a?

Wasn't that thrilling? Anyway, now for some unlucky victims. I'm tagging the following campaigners:

1. Susan Rocan at My Withershins
2. Diane D. Gillette at Happy Writing!
3. Jenna Cooper at Finding the Write Way
4. Jolene Stockman at Everything is Possible!
5. Sara Biren at Crow River Writer

And here are my 11 questions:

1. What do you like to eat for breakfast?
2. Shakespeare: yay or nay?
3. Do you have any guilty pleasures?
4. What is your favorite thing to write about?
5. Choice of the century: cake or pie?
6. Got any non-writing hobbies?
7. If you had a theme song, what would it be?
8. What's your favorite writing snack?
9. Do you have any pets?
10. If you could live anywhere, where would it be?
11. Got any book recommendations?

Woo, that was kind of intensive! And a surprising number of my questions have to do with food. Hmm. Anyway, looking forward to everyone's answers . . . and hey, if I didn't tag you, feel free to tell me about yourself in the comments anyway! :)

I'm a Platform-Building Campaigner!

Well, after some hefty consideration, I've finally decided to participate in Rachael Harrie's 4th Writers' Platform-Building Campaign. Woo!

If you've never heard of it, the Platform-Building Campaign is a pretty big deal. I've never participated before, but from what I've heard, it's a great way to meet other writers online and forge friendships. There are a ton of people participating (including my peeps, Brenna and Daniel), so it looks like it'll be pretty exciting.

Registration is open until the 15th of February (that's this Wednesday people), so if you're interested, take a look at the information page. I hope to see you participating by my side!

Have you ever participated in one of Rachael Harrie's Platform-building Campaigns? If so, what'd you think? And if not, well, why not? Tell me all about it in the comments.

A particularly kreativ and versatile post

Something exciting happened to me last Friday. I got nominated for two different blog awards from two different people! Woo!

So thanks to two fabulous ladies: Krista over at I Take the Pen for the Kreativ Blogger Award and Julia at Life As it Is, Dreams As I Make Them for The Versatile Blogger Award! Take a moment to go check out both of their blogs, as Krista runs some fantastic flash fiction challenges and Julia is archiving her adventures with dreadlocks. :)

As per being nominated, I have to do a couple things:

1. Thank and link to the peep that nominated me.
2. Share ten (kreative)/seven (versatile) random facts about myself.
3. Award some other nifty bloggers.

Like last time, I'm going to combine these and give you ten facts instead of seventeen, okay? So voila:

1. I'm pretty musically inept. Looking at sheet music makes my eyes cross. I played the piano for about three months, and the only reason I survived is because I memorized the songs.
2. I'm one of those people who likes cleaning if it involves organizing something. Packing boxes seriously appeased my inner Tetris queen.
3. Speaking of Tetris, I love it. A lot. Playing helps clear my mind.
4. I'm madly in love with superhero cartoons. They're a nice combination of action and ridiculousness. Some favorites would be Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes, Justice League Unlimited, Teen Titans, and Young Justice. But the list goes on.
5. I also enjoy superhero movies (maybe I should just say that I love superheroes in general?). A recent favorite was Thor because it was essentially a movie about sparkly space vikings. It can't get better than that.
6. I have long fingers and slender hands. When I was a little kid, my parents' friends who own sheep used to tell me that I had good hands for helping sheep with difficult births. I was, understandably, horrified.
7. After much deliberation, I've decided that peanut butter M&Ms are the best writing snack ever. Cheez-its and homemade Crispix mix are a close second.
8. I've officially gotten to that point in my crocheting career where I can completely wing a project or alter a pattern and it'll still turn out decent.
9. After using Spotify for a couple months, I would have to say it's one of my essential computer programs. I love how easy it makes finding new music.
10. I'm a big fan of card games, if only because a single deck of cards can equate to so many different things. Favorites include pinochle, euchre, oh hell, and cribbage (though you need a board for that).

Wasn't that thrilling? Anyway, time for some award nominees:

1. Brenna at Blissfully Brenna - For once, I actually get to nominate her first! She's one of my fabulous CPs and you should all annoy her until she updates more. >:D
2. Daniel at Daniel Todd Noyes - One of my IF writing buddies. He knows his stuff and has got a great sense of humor, which shows its face on his blog.
3. Jessie at Little Bonobo's Book Cafe - All of her posts are interesting and she magically says everything I feel . . . also, she writes about magical binturongs.
4. Kirstin at SqueezeBoxPharm - Because now that she's actually updating, we've been regaled with exciting accordion videos! On a semi-regular basis!
5. Thea at Thea's Writing Asylum - She's all about zombies. Writing about zombies, reviewing about zombies, crocheting zombies. Just go visit her. 
6. Kate at The Queen of Creativity - You know me. I've always gotta pimp my mother when it comes to blog awards. Plus, she does pretty art.

Alrighty, that's all from me for now. But here, because I know you were all waiting for it, my standard "I know award posts are boring" video to entertain you guys:

Guest Post: The quest for the crochet zombie

It's been a while, but today is a day for a guest post! Woo!

So Thea Gregory, one of my lovely Twitter peeps, is currently doing a blog tour for her Zombie Bedtime Stories. I've only had the opportunity to read the first installment, Locked In, but it was definitely a treat. Envision your standard zombie apocalypse . . . but written from the POV of a victim. Yeah. That's right. Our main character becomes a zombie. It's fabulous. Go check it out. Now.

Anyway, being that Thea and I bond about crocheting all the time, today she is going to regal you all with her adventures in crocheting a zombie. Enjoy!

---

When I was 9 years old, I started making teddy bears. Pictured is the only remaining relic (that I know of) from that time. As you can see, I had a very weak grasp of proper stitching and pattern-making, but a strong appreciation for the macabre. Perhaps Bear simply came before his time. 

During Bear’s almost 20 year stay in a basement, I received a book for my birthday, Creepy Crochet by Christen Haden. It contained all kinds of marvelous wonders, like how to make your own crochet Trojans, zombies, vampires, robots, and even Chuthlu. I was fascinated, and my quest to create a crochet zombie began.

I hit one immediate snag—I didn’t know any of the stitches! As the granny square queen, I can basically make a giant square blanket. While this is amazing, useful and a great way to spend the winter months, it doesn’t help me create my zombie empire, or re-enact the Zombie Bedtime Stories with little dolls. Because, who wouldn’t want to act out zombie fiction with crochet dolls?

So, my old friend Google and I teamed up for yet another adventure. I made many attempts to start at the logical source—the head. What’s a zombie without a brain? I tried, again and again, but eventually I was sent back to the drawing board. So, I started with an arm, a project that was a bit less ambitious. At first, I thought it would just be a finger hat, and posed accordingly.

But, miraculously, the arm came together properly. Afterwards, I fashioned another arm, in green. I made the arms different colors, because he’s my crochet zombie, thus he needs to be special.

Emboldened by the success at creating two almost symmetrical arms (zombies don’t need symmetry, they need brains) I decided to return to making a head. Despite forgetting to count my stitches, I pressed on, eventually coming to a roughly spherical shape.

But, disaster struck.

My arm had cramped up, and I could no longer continue. Not wanting accept defeat, or to deprive Bear of his new little brother, I cobbled the old, discarded attempts into a mouth and hair. Then, I added buttons for eyes, and stitched on his little arms. I used a sharpie to give his eyes the proper bloodshot effect. No cutesy giggly eyes for my zombie.  Bear would be jealous, after all.

Thus, I created a crochet zombie. Not in the fashion that the book recommended, but he’s made of crochet, cute, and obviously a zombie. For the moment, that’s good enough for me!

The quest for the perfect crochet zombie shall continue! 

---

THEA GREGORY
Thea writes zombie stories and science fiction. She was raised in rural Quebec, where her imagination was often her only friend, and this upbringing also engendered a fanatical love of reading and books.You can stalk her at her blog, Thea's Writing Asylum, or on Twitter as @TheaIsis.

2011

I don't really make New Year Resolutions. Partly because I can never come up with specific things I think would make for good resolutions, and partly because I don't see the point of waiting until a new year to make yourself goals. Not that there's a problem with resolutions--they kinda rock--I'm just too wishy-washy.

Despite this, I made a resolution for this year. Do you remember it?

The idea was to blog every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday of this year. Technically I've succeeded, despite some lame posts. I've also subjected you the depths of my geekiness, everything I've crocheted, and, of course, my trials with writing. But the best part? I made some rocking new friends! *double thumbs up*

Now, on the matter of 2012 . . . well, I guess I just want 2012 to be better than 2011. And maybe to survive the apocalypse and crochet a cute squid-lett and finish my freaking book. You know, the important things.

But what about you guys? What kind of things are you looking forward to next year? Have you made any concrete New Year Resolutions? If so, what kind of things do you resolve to do or, uhh, not do? And, of course, how do you think I did on completing my resolution? Tell me in the comments!

On this blackest of Fridays

You know, I was going to write about Thanksgiving. Then I was going to write about Black Friday. Then I remembered how everyone always writes about holiday on their blogs, and after you've seen one post, you've pretty much seen them all. Besides, not all of you are American.

This is pretty much why I don't say anything about holidays on Squidink. It often gets to the point where the blog-o-sphere becomes saturated with a lot of the same sentiments, and I'd rather not bore you (and myself) with them.

There are a lot of other topics I like to avoid on this blog too. Politics. Religion. Complaining too much. Too many details on my personal life (not that they're super interesting anyway). I want to be positive here--not to look perfect or avoid debate or anything like that--but because I don't feel there's a point to lingering on the negative.

People like to cling to hatred too easily. We like to complain and gripe and get furious over the stupidest stuff. Just look at all of the people who hate Twilight. Why waste the effort to actively hate something when you can spend that time enjoying things you like? I don't know about you guys, but I prefer being happy instead of angry.

Especially on this blog, which is on the internet, which is gonna be around until time immemorial. *shrug*

So, speaking of blog topics to avoid, what kind of things don't you like to talk about on your blog? Is there anything you avoid like the plague? Or do you think I'm just being ridiculous . . . or even, dare I say, inappropriate? Tell me what you think in the comments.

A particularly versatile and lovely post

ETA (12/04/11): Woo! Krista at I Take the Pen gave me another "One Lovely Blog Award." Thank you~! *hugs her to death*

So, last Friday Brenna over at Blissfully Brenna tagged about a billion different people with some blogging awards and I was one of the bunch. Woo! Thanks so much! Anyway, check it:

As per being nominated, now I have to do stuff. Sigh.

1. Thank and link to the peep that nominated me.
2. Share seven random facts about myself.
3. Award some other nifty bloggers.

So. Seven things about me:

1. I was a Girl Scout for a long time. Yeah, I rocked that from elementary school through high school, baby.
2. I do not like tomatoes. In any form. Yeah, no ketchup, no BLTs, no spaghetti sauce. Nothing. Actually, that's only 99% true. I love salsa. But it's gotta be spicy and chunky salsa makes me shudder.
3. Speaking of this whole tomato thing, I'm a picky eater. Or rather, I do not like some very specific things that seem to show up in EVERYTHING. Like tomatoes. And mayonaise. And coffee.
4. I am obsessed with Lady Gaga's Bad Romance. It's a fantastic song. I mean, even the covers rock (go check the On the Rocks and Halestorm versions).
5. There are few things I despise more than going to the dentist.
6. I am rather particular about, well, a lot of things. Organization is rather important to me . . . be it the files on my computer, the food in my refrigerator, or the books on my shelves.
7. I don't get excited about upcoming events unless they're right about to happen. Seriously. Oh, were're going to Oregon in a year/month/week? Eh, whatever. Oh, we're going tomorrow? I'M SO PSYCHED.

Did all of these thrilling tidbits sate anyone's curiosity? If not, well, too bad. Anyway, my nominees:

1. Jessie at Little Bonobo's Book Cafe - she doesn't update all that often, but her posts are always honest and interesting
2. Kirstin over at SqueezeBoxPharm - because she's been trying to build up the motivation to blog more often, and maybe shiny awards will help.
3. Kat over at That Flighty Temptress - because she always makes sure to keep things lively and fun.
4. Jackie from Books & Tea - she reviews books and types of tea, which is a rather fantastic combination.
5. Kate, or rather, The Queen of Creativity - she's my mother, and families should shamelessly lavish attention upon each other.

Yeah, I know, the original rules asked for 15 people, but that's kind of ridiculous. And it's not like these blog awards haven't been circling the blogosphere for the last forever. *shrug* Anyway, because today's post is kind of boring, I bring you what could be one of the best movie moments EVER. Oh, and just a heads up, there's a swear near the end.

What do you think I should blog about?

So, blogging rocks. It's a nice way to subject you guys to my thoughts. And chat of course. Because that's always good. However, as of late, I've had a lot of trouble coming up with post ideas that seem interesting.

Seriously. I feel like the bag post is the ultimate low. But let's not talk about that.

Now, at this point some people might take a blogging break. But I'm afraid if I stray from my 3-posts-a-week schedule, then I'll just stop posting. Not because I don't like blogging (because, you know, I actually do like it), but because I'm lazy. Really. Those people that blog everyday? I secretly think they're crazy. Well, maybe intimidating is more the right word.

I guess what I'm really wondering is what you guys do when you can't think of anything to blog about? Do you agonize at your computer for hours or do you do other things until inspiration strikes? And what kinds of posts do you find interesting to read anyway? I'd love some feedback, so give me a heads up in the comments.

The flopping fish of my PAIN

I don't have a post for today.

It's kind of pathetic. Really. Writers are supposed to be able to "channel their pain into writing," or some such nonsense, but I kind of fail at that. There are dozens of examples of suicidal writers and drug-using writers and angst-ridden writers who all wrote beautiful works revolving around their hazy lives of misery. I am not one of those people.

When life has irritated or upset me, I don't write. My brain sputters a bit before completely shutting down--kind of like a fish in the shallows, flopping around in an attempt to get back into deeper water.

Anything like plot diagraming is out of reach because I can't focus on something that complex. Descriptions run flat and the joy of writing a delicious sentence vanishes because my vocabulary has been diminished to a few hundred words. Yes, my brain truly becomes that drowning fish.

Of course, when I'm happy and feeling good about life, writing goes a bit different. All those creative parts of my brain that get shut off in fish mode are switched back on. I have the power of word choice! And sentence structure! And ideas! Writing becomes fun again (even when my story is being cranky).

Hence this blog post. I won't go into details, but I'm annoyed right now and I couldn't craft a wittier metaphor than this beached fish thing. Not my best work. And I know, I could delete everything I just said about not having a prepared post and you guys would never know (theoretically). But that would defeat the purpose, wouldn't it?

Anyway, what do you guys think? Are you able to "channel your pain" when you write? Do you compose super heartfelt poetry or prose from the angst in your own life? Or does your writing thrive when you're happy and cheerful? Tell me in the comments.

Freaky Friday Blogfest

Today is Friday the 13th. Horrible, wonderful, hilarious things are known to happen on this day. Because it is magical. Or something. And this Friday the 13th is no slouch, as Kat Brauer over at The Flighty Temptress is hosting the Freaky Friday Blogfest! Because I find it terribly amusing, I am participating.

All we're doing is posting 500 words worth of old, unpublished work for critique. That's right, you're allowed to shamelessly mock critique the excerpt posted below. But it's really okay, because, it's hilariously bad. Really. My excerpt comes from the story that spawned the "Yikes-o-wowie!" line. Anyway, the blogfest runs until the end of May 15th, so hopefully a bunch of other people will participate and we can all giggle at our old, decrepit writing together!

So, onto my excerpt. It's from the first original story I wrote back in 2000. Entitled Rowin Warriors: The War, it took place in the future and was about kids in the military and they saved the universe . . . or something like that? Totally middle grade. There were also aliens and magical fighting powers and people who flirted through arguments. Yeah. I was 12. It didn't have to make sense.

---

Chapter One: Potatoes
POV: Kat
I opened my eyes as I yawned. A big yawn to be precise. I was tired. Now who wouldn't be tired after a meeting at twelve o'clock, midnight, extending to two o'clock, in the morning? A stupid meeting . . . oh dear, I snapped awake. I looked at the clock; it said 7:32. TGINL: Thank Goodness I'm Not Late. Then I saw the paper next to my clock. It said:

KAT

Read this paper

Change clock tonight

DO NOT FORGET

THE COMMANDER WILL SHOOT YOU AND THEN EAT YOU FOR HIS DINNER WITH A PETITE FORK IF YOU FORGET TO LOOK AT THIS LITTLE PAPER

I sat there blinking for a couple seconds, trying to comprehend what I had just read. Now you got to understand this, it’s not easy to assimilate things when you had, oh, two hours of sleep. Snap. Crackle. Pop.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!" I yelled as I jumped out of the hammock. But failed. Instead of getting out of the hammock, I flipped it over and landed on my head, on the ground, in the dirt. So then I attempted to get up, but my foot got caught in the hammock, so as I held onto my bruised head, screaming, I fell again. So by the third time I had actually gotten out of the stupid hammock, but as I held my head in agony, something crawled over my hands. To be more precise, something with eight legs that eats bugs.

“Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!” I yelled again, and swatted at my head, and a big black spider dropped out of my brown and highlighted green hair. Now let me describe what make this arachnid scary. It was a giant black spider. A really, really big black spider. I am talking huge, gigantic, large black spider that was on my head. The freaking thing was as big as my hand! So, in a somewhat calm mood, I grabbed a comic book belonging to who knows, and smashed the monster spider screaming something similar to the words die, death, and get away.

So that matter was taken care of, now to the big problem.

“Bad morning. Really bad morning. Why can’t it be Friday?” I moaned. I was late for the Commander’s stupid talk that was supposed to take place at 8:00, in the morning, and a monster spider just tried to kill me. In other words, I’m seriously flirting with death.

To tell the truth, I could have gotten up on time, but I didn't look at the paper and I didn't change my clock. When I looked at my clock earlier it had said it was 7:00, so I believed it. It had been Daylight Savings yesterday and I didn’t bother to change my clock, so the alarm was wrong too. That was a little over half an hour ago and clock now said 7:43. But it's really 8:43, correction; it's now 8:44, or if you prefer, 7:44.

---

Please don't judge me. *cringe*

But yeah. It took 2500 more words for Kat to get to her meeting. 2500 WORDS. But that's why this is a Friday the 13th Blogfest, right? It's all about horrible, wonderful, hilarious things. Oh, and if you're wondering about the chapter title, Kat totally gets KP duty.

Anyway, feel free to give my 12-year-old self a critique. I remember being particularly proud of this opening at the time, even though now it makes my eyes bleed. Tell me your thoughts in the comments (and then go participate with your own post because I want to laugh at your stuff too)!

I want YOU! Also, a writing goal

ETA (03/04/11): And the third lovely guest blogger has made an appearance. Yay!
ETA (03/03/11): I have two lovely guest bloggers and would love to see a third! Any volunteers?

I've decided to tell you guys my secret goal in the hopes that if/when I fail, you will rain the hate down so hard that I will cower and cry beneath your missiles of disappointment. Umm, yes. A few other people already know, but I figured it was time to lay on some more accountability. Here it is:

I'm going to finish the rough draft my WIP by March 7th.

Oh, the shudders of horror and dismay are racing down my spine. I may only have two/three chapters and 15,000 words left, but they are a nightmare in the making. Let's just leave it at that.

Why am I setting this goal then? Two reasons: 1) so I get my butt into gear and actually finish, and 2) I will be taking a writing vacation starting March 8th whether I want to or not. I also figured that finishing the WIP, instead of leaving a hanging chapter, was a better choice.

For those who are curious, on March 8th I'm off to the illustrious Butte, MT for a viewing of Avenue Q. Early the next morning I will be driving to Portland, OR with Boyfriend for a several days of exciting, exciting apartment hunting. Woo hoo.

Which brings me to my next point. Would anyone like to be a guest blogger for Squidink? I'm looking for 2-3 guest posts that are amusing, witty, and about writing. The perks? Free promo! You will get a cute bio featuring your picture (if you so desire) and a link to your own blog.

And Uncle Sam wants you to do it. Really.

If you're interested, send me a quick email at squidinksarah (ât) gmail (døt) com. But just a heads up, the deadline for any guest posts would be March 6th. I'll update this post with further news if/when the slots are filled.

Anyway, do you guys have any ridiculous goals? Do they make you want to curl up in a ball and cry until your manuscript starts writing itself? Or do you thrive under the threat of deadline? Tell me your thoughts in the comments.

Writing is all about the pancakes

In my hometown there is a delicious pancake/steak restaurant called Smitty's. It looks something like this:

Yes, it's cute and quaint and strangely Scandinavian-looking.

To paint the scene: Smitty's is the kind of establishment that has doilies everywhere and antique plates lined across the walls. There's a large grandfather clock by the entrance and, in general, the people who eat there are three times my age.

Now, Boyfriend and I went for a late breakfast because, frankly, for me breakfast is a food group and Boyfriend claims that Smitty's has the best eggs benedict he's ever tasted. At the time, there were a grand total of two people on shift and six people in the restaurant. These six people were Boyfriend, myself, and a family of four.

So there we were. Food was ordered, juice was delivered, and everything was awesome. Then I heard thumping.

Thunk thunk thunk. It was the father at the table next to ours. Thunk thunk thunk. He was hammering on the base of a powdered sugar shaker with the palm of his hand. Thunk thunk thunk. I ignored him and went back to the conversation at hand. Thunk thunk thunk. A minute later and he was still pounding out sugar onto what must have a been a german pancake underneath that pile of snow.

Now, I've never eaten a german pancake. But I'm under the impression that you're actually supposed to be able to taste the pancake when eating it. Or, at least, see the pancake. There were two large powered sugar shakers on that table and both were over half empty. These people were not eating pancake--they were eating sugar.

Unfortunately, people do this with writing too.

No, we don't dump sugar all over our manuscripts. I'm talking about overwriting.

You've probably done it. I certainly have. I'm talking about those paragraphs where all you do is babble on about something for much longer than anyone would care to read. Or when you're trying to sound witty, so you add awkward flourishes to your dialogue. Run-on sentences fit in here too.

Make sure your writing is delicious and nutritious!

Overwriting is a product of trying to make something vivid and overdoing it. When you're making something pretty it's easy to go off on a tangent. Sometimes it's because we don't realize we're doing it. Other times it's because we're struggling for the words. Maybe sugar can spice up your manuscript, but you don't want to drown it!

So next time your trying to make something sound lovely, stop. Take a breather. Look at the sentence you just wrote and see if it needs to be pared down a bit. Like a german pancake, writing needs some sweetness--just make sure that your writing is more about the pancake than the powdered sugar!

Also, before I go, I need your help! Blogger's lack of nested comments is driving me insane. Thus, I'm experimenting with the DISQUS commenting system. I'd love it if you guys could tell me whether it's obnoxious or not. Nested comments equals more replies from me, but at the same time I don't want to scare anyone away with something annoying. Tell me what you think!

A particularly stylish post (UPDATED!)

According to the lovely Brenna over at Writing and Reading, I'm apparently awesome. Or well, stylish at least. Thanks so much! Anyway, check it:

Pretty nifty, yeah?

As per being nominated, now I have to do stuff. Sigh.

1. Thank and link to the peep that nominated me.
2. Share seven things about myself.
3. Award some other cool bloggerly people.
4. Contact said bloggerly people and tell them that they're awesome.

So. Seven things about me.

1. I am a cat person. They're smart, they're fluffy, and they can take care of themselves.
2. Breakfast is my favorite meal and eggs are my favorite food. I love them in all forms except scrambled.
3. I'm a video game geek. I own a Playstation 3, Nintendo DSi, Playstation 2, Nintendo 64, Gameboy Color, and a Super Nintendo. On top of that, I have semi-regular access to an XBox 360 and a Wii.
4. I am one half of a Pictionary god.
5. The thing that really got me writing was Sailor Moon. There will probably be a post on this. I'm not sure why there isn't already.
6. At one point in my life I was going to study astrophysics. Now my science of choice is marine biology.
7. I tell people to "suck it up" a lot. Understandably I do not have the best bedside manner. Good thing I'm not a doctor . . . oh you just got out of surgery? Suck it up.

Phew, now that's enough about me. Now for a pair of cool bloggerly ladies that deserve to be called stylish:

1. Kirstin over at SqueezeBoxPharm because she tells entertaining life stories, but doesn't update nearly enough. Maybe being called stylish will be encouraging.
2. Kate, or rather, The Queen of Creativity. It's an art journaling blog, but the focus is on creativity in general. Kate is also my mother, and families should shamelessly promote each other.

Normal writerly post back up on Wednesday! Look forward to a titillating post on the joys and wonders of hardbacks, paperbacks, and e-books. And because today's post was lacking in the entertainment, a video for all of you:

A (pathetic) beginning

I kind of hate blogging.

Now hold on. Before you all run away, let's go into story mode for a moment.

Once, a long time ago I had a blog. A successful one on livejournal when blogging first became a big thing. I was in junior high at the time and talked about pithy things like my horrible parents, writing projects, and whatever I was obsessing about at the time. As a geek, this was often video games and sci-fi shows.

This went on for a long time, but then I went to college, and the blogging switch turned off. My interests were changing, I was meeting new people, and forging relationships on the internet seemed to take so much effort. Being on the computer felt a little like performing.

I missed it though. I tried to start blogging again. Five separate times to varying levels of success. And when I say "varying levels of success," what I really mean is that I fail at life.

And so this blog is a New Year Resolution.

I never make resolutions, so maybe this actually means something. I'm going to keep pretending that for a while. As a young writer, everyone suggests that I start a blog, so it seems like I have a decent reason now. Yeah. Right. The enthusiasm is dripping from your screens, isn't it? Hopefully you'll stick around for the next post.

. . . wish me luck?