You read right. A dread secret. It's something I've kept from you all, but maybe if I reveal it now, after we've all become so close, you'll hate me less. Do you think you could bring it in your hearts to forgive me, writers and readers and internet surfers of the world?
Okay. With that hearty exclamation of, "YES," I guess I can tell you.
Are you ready? Here it goes.
I do not like coffee.
*screams and gasps*
That's right. I'm a writer that doesn't like coffee. I don't even like the smell of coffee. When people hand me their frou frou coffee drink with the assurance that "you can't even taste the coffee," well guess what? I can still taste the evil brew lurking behind copious amounts of cream and flavored syrup.
Yes, it's true. I'm the person that goes into the coffee shop and gets a chai latte. Or a cup of earl grey. I scorn your macchiatos and your frappuccinos and your other very long, difficult to spell, Italian-based words. I'd rather drink something else.
Okay, now, in all seriousness. The stereotypical writer seems to love coffee and booze (hey, maybe that's a post for the future). Coffee for those neurotic writing sessions and booze . . . for the same reason. Hmm. Anyway, everyone likes to talk about coffee like it's their lifeblood. Except, well, me.
I like milk.
*crickets chirp*
So! I'm curious about you guys. Love coffee? Hate coffee? Are you ashamed or proud to fall in with the masses of coffee-drinking people? Can we still be friends after this terrible confession of mine? Is drinking coffee really part of being a writer, or is there more to it than that? Tell me about your drinking habits in the comments.