Friday, March 18, 2011

These trees are out to get you

Now, I like taking pictures. I'm no photographer and I definitely don't have a camera that lets me pretend to be one, but pictures can be fun. This post is evidence of me being ridiculous with my camera. Also, it is image heavy. I'm sorry.

Now, just for some background, this post is all about trees. Specifically trees in Oregon and how creepy they are. Like many of you, I grew up with trees. They had green leaves/needles and brown trunks. They were also not very memorable. Oregon trees are different. The first sign I had that there was something wrong with the trees in Oregon was this:
What is this mysterious rectangular blob in the distance?
 Which, on closer inspection turned out to be this:
Creepy, endless death trees. Also, a power pole, which is another post coming.
These trees lasted for miles. Creepy, identical and freakishly tall trees. I half expected to see werewolves galavanting through them. This was not the case. Eventually Boyfriend and I left the tree field behind and everything seemed safe again. This was also not the case.

A slight detour in the Colombia River Gorge and suddenly we were surrounded by trees. But not ordinary trees. Witchy trees. Seriously. There was even this creepy fence built from crooked metal poles and half-eroded mossy logs.
The Hansel and Gretel witch was just around the corner.
And if those weren't weird enough, the closer we got to out destination, the stranger things got. The witch trees were, well witchy, but at least they were still brown. Not like these next things:
Fluffy trees. FLUFFY TREES. Enough said.
Difficult to see, but these trees are also freakish and fluffy.
After 12 hours of driving, Boyfriend and I made it to our destination. For the next few days we would be surrounded by trees, just waiting to kill us in our sleep.
Backyard tree: broken limbs angling towards the house to eat us.
Yes, that green thing is part of a tree, also angling downward to maim. 
Don't even ask me what's up with this tree. It's not normal.
And then we encountered something that may or may not have been a tree. It could have been an alien. Or a mutant, green Bigfoot. Either way, I feel like touching it would result in mutant moss spores invading my body and turning me into a zombie or something. Seriously.
Yes, that green, weepy thing is a tree. There was "moss" everywhere.
Now, you may think I'm crazy. But I'm not. Really*. You just have to look past the facade that the Oregon trees wear. For example, the King Midas tree:
Normal leaves, sparkling like gold. But they are not gold.
That tree might look all pretty and harmless, but it is a lie. The trees in Oregon are slowly planning our demise. Here, my final piece of evidence:
Everything seems normal with the flash on, but . . .
So, what do you guys think? Are the trees in Oregon ridiculous and creepy? Or have I lost my mind? Tell me in the comments (because I really want to know).

* By the way, I'm not crazy. The trees were weird and fun and I thought I'd share. Hopefully they'll inspire you somehow. But please don't start thinking I'm paranoid on trees like some people are on aliens or the government.


Maggie said...

These are some awesome, creepy trees! Which part of Oregon is this? I went to Portland and the coast near Portland twice a year for the first 17 years of my life, and I don't remember creepy awesome trees like this!

Sarah Robertson said...

Haha, glad you like them! It was kind of exciting running into weird trees everywhere. :D Now let's see if I can name them all:

The tree farm was along I-84 and the witch trees were at the Rowena Loops in the Colombia River Gorge. All of the fluffy trees were outside of Sandy, OR, but I saw some scattered throughout Portland too. There were even these great trees that had ferns growing on their sides, but unfortunately I didn't get any good pictures.

The other trees are from random places in Portland, but two (midas leaves and crazy maple) were inside the Portland Japanese Garden. The soul-eating tree was at Fort Clatsop National Memorial, which is near Astoria. :)

Jackie said...

I used to live in Oregon when I was younger. I don't recall ever seeing creepy trees. There was this one tree in my backyard that would cast creepy shadows in my bedroom at night time though.

The tree with the caption "Don't even ask me what's up with this tree. It's not normal." is really awesome! I"ve never seen a tree like that before. And, I'm pretty sure that last tree used to be a dementor. That one is especially spooky!

Kate Robertson said...

Are you sure you weren't in Fanghorn Forest?

Sarah Robertson said...

I think trees with creepy shadows definitely fall into the creepy tree category. After all, they're only pretending to be nice in the daylight--it's a night when their true colors come out! :P

I'm pretty sure that tree is a black maple, if I remember correctly. It was in Portland's Japanese Garden. :) Haha, and I can so see a dementor in that last tree too!

Sarah Robertson said...

It's possible. It would have been really exciting if the trees had started talking to me!

Brenna Braaten said...

Oh my that last tree is the best thing I have ever seen! I'm excited by all your tree-y goodness. They are pretty awesome trees, but I think I may prefer the dead, white trees in Washington. Green trees at least look alive. The white trees did not.

Sarah Robertson said...

These trees are creepy BECAUSE they're alive. :P Glad you like the tree post though!

Anonymous said...

Hahaha. I love this. I was just thinking this morning that tree's were out to get us. I'm GLAD that someone agrees!

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